psalm 91

I have tasted of Your goodness
I have tasted of Your grace
You have shown Your loving kindness
In so many ways
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I have waited in Your presence
And I will never be the same
I have tasted of You Lord
And all that I can say

Is You are good
You are good
You are merciful to me
And You meet my every need
For You are good
You are good
I have tasted and I say
That You are good

CHRISTMAS IS COMING!!!

Lost

So many things waiting for me to settle

So many choices for me to make

Overwhelmed

I just want to be with you

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Help me will you?

You said

Times like this when I feel so lost

Not knowing what to do

Searched everywhere but found no answer

But I cant just sit here and do nothing

Really wished you were here to help though

Lord teach me how to go about doing it

You said ask and I shall receive

This day Lord I ask for

Revival

Faithful---->Fruitful

Right Im here to update...
Youth camp was great... The Spirit of God moved and I received frm the Lord through the diff services... I thank Him for His faithfulness and grace that even when I was faithless in Him, He remained faithful to me.... I think this camp triggered alot of things in my mind... Abt my personal walk, the burden for fairfied, cell, family, frenz... The Lord revealed to me through the camp wad Hes wans me to do and encouraging me to persevere on... Wanna noe the details ask me personally... I believed Ive came out of this camp stronger in the Lord... I will rise up for you Lord...
Though life is indeed diff after camp but this passion and hunger will nv cease... Lord Im nt satisfied... All of my frenz pang seh me for youth rally... Was discouraged... Sometimes this juz show how many true frenz I have and also my relationship with pple... Almost wanted to cry on the fone when every call Ive made or sms that Ive received was telling me tt they are nt coming... Though nt coming didnt mean anything to them and the excuses they gave was ridiculous, it did kinda swept me off tt dae... But I refuse to let that defeat me... Will always rmb wad pas dav said... Its always hard work to bring souls and theres always a great price to pay... Am I willing to pay tt price.... Anyway the rally was great...
During the camp was thinking abt alot of things in the night abt wad the Lord spoke to me... Wanted to fellowship but the lights out thing was kinda strict... The games were fun exciting... All cheers to the games com...

The only regret for this camp was I didnt restore the relationship that I wanted to...

Right going out later... Expecting something great frm the Lord...

PS: my camp fotos are already at my msn space...
-It was memorable-

tarnished

Manz... Had a bad nightmare yesterday... Totally tarnished the image of tt person I had in my mind... Din noe it will affect me so much until yesterdae... Was troubled abt it the whole dae... The dream is still sort of lingering in my head... Haiz... Manz satan is indeed smart to catch my weakest link... The other one din work out then use this one... Out of my whole christian life only these 2 and this is one of the most difficult incident to get over... Oh Lord help me... I refuse to believe in tt dream...
Hope camp will be a good time to resolve everything and start afresh... Staying in the presence of God.... Lord teach me how to restore a relationship tt is broken...


Hope will get to talk to you...

Psalm 77

The Lord spoke

"Be bold and stouthearted

For your labor will not be in vain

Though things are not going the way you want it to be,

Perservere"

It was so clear

Perhaps He had said tt many times but I din catch it

But still He made sure that I got the message

Lord thank you

For you Ill hold on

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It was suppose to be fellowship, but it turned out to be a waste of time...

Darkess is my closest friend

I see souls leaving

I see relationships broken

Lord juz what am I suppose to do

Im tired

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Ill take it off if you ask me to...

Fall afresh on me...

O's is finally over for a period of time already... Long time nv time nv update... Cos been writing in my diary instead of here... Hahha so here goes...
Right since now its over leaving me alot of time in hand...Activities flooding filling up my days everydae... Alot of stuff cuming up... But I guess now is the time to sit down for a moment and think wad I need to do... God spoke to me to get back souls in Fairfield.... Feeling the urgency to claim back the souls into Gods kingdom... God Im sorry for my inconsistency, my broken promises God, throwing away the vision that you have laid upon my heart... Taking it so lightly, looking at my own interest, my own priorites and neglecting your business, Lord forgive me...Been in west 4 for quite a long time... The cell has been so stagnant and even worst when pple started to leave... Felt inadequant... How could I juz let my friends leave right before my eyes and not doing anything in the past and now God you want me to get them back... Manz... How dumb of me God to let them slip away before my eyes in the first place, God Im comfused and have no idea wad to do except to pray... And pray harder... Felt the burden for souls, the souls that Ive targeted, Lord move and touch them... I pray juz one soul everyweek to be in your kingdom... Juz one... Lord help me to be committed.. The heart and the will to get them back... Lord Im willing to be used by you, my heart cries out Lord bring them back into your kingdom, how could they ever survive without you... Lord teach me and guide me, let me continue to labour for you and Lord you will do the rest of the job.... Courage, boldness, selflessness, love, willingness, patience, perserverence, God help me...

Why have You chosen me
Out of millions Your child to be
You know all the wrongs
That I have done
O how could You pardon me
Forgive my iniquities
To save me through Jesus Your Son

But Lord help me be
What You want me to be
Your words I will strive to obey
My life I now give
For You I will live
And walk by Your side all the way

I am amazed to know
That the Lord so great could love me so
He’s willing to watch over me
His mercy is wonderful
His grace is so bountiful
I can’t understand as I confess

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Looking forward...

amazed

You dance over me

While I am unaware

You sing all around

But I never hear the sound

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I'm amazed by You

fool

Seems my own arrogance

Has knocked me off my feet again

When you know I’m crawling to you as fast as I can

First teach me to walk

And then I’ll learn to dance for you

Like an honest clumsy clown

Tripping along the way

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Cause I am reaching for you

But my arms aren’t long enough

And I am running to you

If I could go a little faster

And I am crying to you

But I can’t hear my own voice

And I am waiting for you

Trying not to fall asleep now

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Cause I’m clumsily dancing away this fear

Come stumbling closer to you

And I’m tumbling over my pride

I will be a fool for you

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What are you thinking as you look down on me

Are you frustrated with my inconsistency

Or intrigued that I can find the will to get back on board

Maybe all of this is simply amusing

Secret Cry

When the lights are down low and I'm feeling insecure

With this bed so big and cold only memories to hold

It's your voice I need to hear to help me overcome this fear

I need your hand to help my heart from sinking

Loosing grip

Time for me to step out of the water

Time for me to just loose my hold

And its time for me to leave here all that I've hoped for

Could you take me where I need to go

I am waiting for your love

I am reaching for you touch

Lost without you

God reach down

I need you now

To All

Once a Fairsian

Always a Fairsian

People come and people go

Gonna miss you guys!!!

See ya for O's...

You are still faithful...

Super disappointed with my results... There goes my first 3 months... haiz... Juz gotta work harder... Tired lately... Mentally, emotionally... Gotta study harder for Os...

Enough of disappointments

Right mind

Right attitude

Lets start the race again

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Dreaming of you...

testimony

Lim Tse Min – Child of God


Christianity wasn’t in my dictionary when I was young as I was not from a
Christian family, my family were free thinkers but they didn’t really like the idea of Christianity and also they were more close to my third auntie and grandma who is a Buddhist. I was enrolled into a Christian primary school when I was young and it was then when I heard about Jesus. I vividly remembered the first few days of school where we were asked to pray after morning devotions. I did like everyone although I didn’t know who they are praying to. But after that I was being reprimanded when my mum asked me about it and I was told to get my allowance from the God that I prayed to. That was the time where I never ever dared to pray again and throughout my primary school life the gospel of love passed me by.
As I grew older, I began to question my existence on earth. Why am I here on earth? What is my purpose in life? Is it just to get a good education and have a good job in future? I felt there was no drive in life, unsatisfied. Being the youngest in the family, I was often influenced by them as well. When my older brother got into secondary school, vulgarities started to become common at home. We communicate using foul language and often ended up quarreling as I was also very hot tempered and always flare up easily. I started to speak dirty languages verbally as well, especially during the times when things don’t go my way. I also began to become materialistic and followed what my friends did. Fun was everything and late weekend nights were a common routine for me. I began to be rebellious when my parents scold me or nagged at me, feeling that life is so unfair, why cant I when my brother can stay out late and sometimes stay over at his friends house and not return home. Friends were my only outlet of frustration. I felt good being with my friends, looking good in my new clothes. It satisfied me at first but soon after I found that it was only temporal and began looking for something else to fill that emptiness inside of me.

Huizhen had a hard time dragging me to church as I always had an excuse up my mind not to go. My idea of church was always one that sits on long pews and singing long draggy hymns. Finally I was persuaded by her to attend one youth rally and there I accepted Christ hoping for a better and smooth sailing future.

But it wasn’t the case. Life was not smooth-sailing after I’ve receive Christ but instead it has become more challenging. I didn’t dare to tell my parents that I accepted Christ for fear that I may face serious consequences. I always tell them I was going out with friends when I attended church. But subsequently, they found out through the time when I had a curfew at 7 and I returned home late after an evening service. My parents were furious and locked me out of the house. I was devasted as I thought that accepting Christ would make life better instead it became worst for me. It was from then that they found out that I accepted Christ. Since then I faced persecutions at home and my parents were unhappy that I became a Christian. They began to persuade me not to go church anymore as they felt that I was still young and there was no need for a religious commitment.

But I still went for services and since then I embarked on an exciting journey even till now. I’ve found that fulfillment in life and realized that only Jesus could fill that emptiness inside of me. I’ve been blessed through sermons and altar calls, witnessing the realness of God. He has also been merciful to me even though I’ve failed Him many times, always drawing me back to Him when I strayed away. Through these 2 years, I’ve tasted of Gods goodness and faithfulness through the times of testing and temptation, I can always be sure that God is there for me, through my persecution periods, sometimes sending people from the family of God to encourage and help me in my walk with God. I’ve changed my speech life through Gods grace and He has also taught me not to be so easily angered and to control my temper. I also learnt to surrender to God my desires of my life and not to be conformed to the world, letting God take control of my life in the area of studies and entrusting my family’s salvation to Him. Baptism has been my desire for a long time but I never had the courage to put it into action for fear that history may repeat itself, this time worst. My parents told me very firmly that baptism is a NO. It’s a trying period for me now as I’m just finished my prelims and taking my Os soon, and I know that my parents would not be happy with this decision of mine to be baptized. I fear the future, persecution that is to come but I know that God is always faithful and is bigger than all my circumstances and I pray that God would take me to a higher level in my relationship with Him and use me as His tool to serve for His purpose.

So today Im going to take this step of faith to proclaim of what Christ has done for me, and I want to thank those who have been there for me through it all. You guys know who you all are ya?!


-Christ for life-

Someone pls tell me that everythings gonna be all right...

Courage

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The Final Verdict

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Pls be there...

Perfect creation

When God made you

He must have been thinking about me

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I believe a pair of parallel lines would eventually meet one day__

I will sing

Lord it's hard for me to see

All the thoughts and plans You have for me

But I will put my trust in You

For You sent Your Son to set me free

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But I don't know what to say

And I don't know where to start

But as you give the grace

With all that's in my heart

I will sing

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I will praise

Even in my darkest hour

Through the sorrow and the pain

I will singI will praise

Lift my hands to honor You

Because Your word is true

I will sing

Faith like that

Baptism

Im ready...

I'll wait for the rainbow

Not very productive todae... Slacked the whole afternoon and only start work in the late evening... Only managed to complete a bit of amths...

Nw its 3 plus in the morning... Preparing tml pm worship... Candice juz sent me lyrics for a whole series complilation of songs... Manz she rock! Now I got all the lyrics I wan... Yeah nw do devotion worship time wont not sure of the song lyrics le... Felt that lyrics are very important to me... For me I felt that songs speaks to me the most... Thorugh the lyrics... Always lifting me up when Im down... Yeah tts for me...

-----> currently playing: 'Take me deeper' by Don Moen


Nice song... Still learning, practicing, overcoming...

You hear the words

When no one understands

stand

So lost without you as my guide

You made me realise

I'm nothing

Nothing without you

Hussle and buzzle...

Stupid flu... Think my nose gonna drop soon... Prelims starts on fri.. Brilliant... I need to study!!! Cant stay at home to study... Gt too many temptations ard... Gosh... Theres so little time left for everything...
Arrrgh... So many things needed to be done... Stressed up... Dun provoke me or Ill bite you!

>>> currently playing: 'Fall afresh on me' by New Creation

Exactl wad I need... My temporary remedy... Been thinking alot recently... Forget it... Now back to work...



___fading

And as you move on, remember me

Remember us and all we used to be

the race

Somehow Ive lost it all

Lack of motivation

No matter how hard I try

The results were still terrible

Feeling helpless

Splitting headaches and tiredness

Pressure is building up

The heat is on

Wished it could be over soon

...

Bon voyage

Bro left for aus todae for his pilot training... Gonna miss him... Hes nt going to be back till end of Sep... No one to stand up for me when they pick on me le... Haiz... Nw they can pick on me all they wan liaoz... I named it chun wang chi han.... Hes gone nw and life gonna get tougher on me... They lyk to pick on me becos I wont fight back even when Im nt in the wrong unlike my bro... Tts makes them think tt Im nice to bully... Its nt wad they think... Juz dun wan to blow the matter up... Tolerance... Got a huge pile of work staring right into my face... No mood to complete them... SIanz... Dieing to hear "You are God"...Was hooked onto it when shujun led tt during ex... But candice say its quite an old song... Cant find it...

The word called baptism seems to be ringing in my mind... The fear tt cripples me... Nt going to find a way ard it... Gonna walk through it...

Your power, your strengh and your might

Gives me courage to stand up and fight

And proclaim You are God

You are God

Rather disappointed with my results... Or rather my studies... Muz buck up!!!

STUDY STUDY STUDY !!!

If only you noe...

emotions is dead

Homesick

You're in a better place,

I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times

I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

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I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

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I've never been more homesick than now

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Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

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In Christ, there are no goodbyes

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

One moment without you near is heart ache I cannot bear...

Nt a very gd week... Feeling downcast... Felt spiritually dry... Have nt been doing qt lately... No desire to... So tired trying to keep the smile upon my face... Finding hard to believe... Hard to believe tt everythings gonna be fine... Hard to believe tt I can overcome... Afraid to show my weaknesses to others for fear tt I might disappointed them... My heart is troubled and I cant find rest.... Work has been catching up lately... So packed... Need to get myself back on track...

Lord help me... Feel so helpess without you... Reignite the passion back in me... Fill me up again Lord...I need to drink frm the living water...

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How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean’s shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I could see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right
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I know you didn’t bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I’m so used to living underneath the surface
If I could just see you
Everything would be all right
If I could see you
This darkness would turn to light
And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And everything will be all right
And everything will be all right

Its in your eyes...

So, do you feel what I feel when it all comes down?

I see it in your eyes

Throw, throw me a line so I won't drown

The shore just seems too far

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Another callous on my heart

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No, there's no way to stop

The sting inside when it comes apart

I realize who we are

The broken pieces cut my hands

Leaving only scars

Oh, we pretend we've got this all figured out

Not as selfish as we are

So, clear the dust off my soul as I fade out

You knew I wouldn't be here long

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Another callous on my heart

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And I didn't want to lose

Or hope to understand

I fell right through your hands

Now there's nothing left to lose

My life crumbles in your hands

I live it over and over again

Just you

Here I'm standing in the pouring rain

All alone

I feel a silent pain

The images of you made me blind

No way to see

Can you see my bleeding heart

Can you heal my heart

We shared a life, a world of lies

You are gone, no reason to cry

When I believed, in you and me

In all your words

When it all began, I gave you my heart

My memories are haunting me

A tragedy, a misery

There's still my bleeding heart

I believe

START

Many things have happened recently... Really wanna thank God for who He is...

Persecution season frm family, pressure frm studies, personal struggles... All these left me breatheless gasping for air... Calling for help... Went down in my pits... Sealed myself... But I thank God that Hes always faithful... Always hearing... Always there to pick me up again... Sending individuals to encourage me... Speaking to me through sermons and altar calls... Being so evident in my life even when I din seek and ask for Him... He knows my needs, my fears, my struggle, my anxiety... Always filling me up with His peace and grace... Queching my thirst...

Felt so blessed to be a child of God... Strengthened me each time I falter... Different individuals giving me the support and encouragements tt I need... Even praying for me... Asking me to hang on and be strong... Asking me not to give up but to persevere on... Really thx God for them... Realised the importance of the body of Christ... For one cannot function alone without the body...

------> Now playing: 'Out of Me' by Planet shakers

God fixed an appointment to meet me todae... Its lyk everthing was planned... Was actually suppose to stay at home to study... But was hoping tt I wld be able to go for EX... Woke up early to do my work... As the time passed by... I struggled to pop the q to my mum... " Can I go out?" was stuck at my throat... Juz felt the Lord prompting me, "U have to ask kid, dun be afraid for Im in control..." So after much tugging in my heart... I asked... And my mum actually agreed after much persuasion though I got nagged lyk mad... I was lyk woah... Thx God!... We kinda made a pact with her tt I shld be home by 7... Cabbed down to Co... Got caught in the pouring rain and traffic jam... But when I stepped into Co... I felt diff... The song played was seeping right through my heart... Every word of the song... My refuge... The presence of God was there... As I was worshipping... Felt really previleged to be in the house of God... dwelling among His pple prasing his name... Nv appreciate it in the past but now when its taken away, I begin to noe how important it is to me... The worship was good... Every part of it... The song the backup singers the musicians... Was soaked in the presence of God...
There was this part of the testimony sharing... Wanted to tesify of the goodness of God but was too afraid... Lyk so many pple la... Didnt... But couldnt contain it inside my heart... I have to testify... Told myself if theres a chance again there Ill go...
Sermon was lyk speaking to me... Straight at my face... Really felt tt God wans to speak to me throught tt sermon... Everything juz so right... Altar call was strengthening.... Thx God for Adrain... Always asking me to be strong... The Lord spoke through him... Adrain said something lyk... My father is a fighter and I am His daugther... Always rmb who I am... Get of of my cave and be strong... Felt strengthened and for tt I will stand tall for the Lord...
Testified for the Lord... That took me alot alot alot of courage... Was scary standing in front... Took the mike and there was no turning back...Felt tt if I dun share Ill dui bu qi God and I wont leave with a peaceful heart cos Hes juz too gd to me le... Shared abt how God was faithful and in control... Actually tot abt wad to share b4 I go up but when I went up it all went blank... Lyk making a fool out of myself up there but in front of the family of God nt so bad la and thats for the Lord so din really care... Wasnt eloquent lyk the rest of them but hope tt that will bring a smile on Gods face and encourage the youths...

All in all God has been good... Cant express how thankful I am...Though the future seems uncertain... But I know tt everything works out for good for those who hope in the Lord and by faith Ill walk and stand firm in the Lord for He is faithful... Thx you Lord! And thx to those standing together with me... Pats on the back, prayers, msgs... Really appreciate u guys!!

I’ve been quiet for way too long

It’s time to make a sound

It’s time to let it all out

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In my heart is a rising song

A song of victory

Of all You’ve done for me

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What can I say

You blow me away

Throwing off restraint

I’ll praise You recklessly

Coz I want the world to see

I want the world to see Your glory

Fill me up so much that

You bust out of me

Coz I want the world to see

I want the world to see Your glory

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Youve been a great blessing to me...

All for love

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love heavens cried
For love was crucfied
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Oh how many times have I broken Your heart
But still You forgive
If only I ask
And how many times have You heard me pray
Drawn near to me

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Everything I need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything I need is You

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Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of Glory
King of all

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All for a love a Saviour prayed
Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the Cross draw man to You

A wretched soul

Placing my head upon your heart

Hearing your heartbeat

So soft and tender

Standing on holy ground

Proclaiming your goodness

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Once broken once lost

But You came with such assurance

Knowing my every need

Helping me in my weaknesses

My heart was grieved with sorrow

But you soothed it wth your love

`How wonderful is your grace

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I know you will reward the faithful

For that Ill stand again

With my face high lifted up

Without an inch of fear

For I know youre with me

Always forevermore

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Right there at the right time... Thx alot

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IM NOT YOUR FREAKING TOY

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rainbow

I saw double rainbow today

Right after a heavy pour

One on top of the other

Spreading across the vast sky

So majestic and splendid

Reminding me of Gods promises

That always come after a mighty storm

Gazed in awesome wonder

Such a magnificent sight

Ravishing beauty

Wished that last forever

Faded

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So excited to tell you but u din care...

Always on time

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`Warm smiles.Encouraging messages.Powerful sermon.Extravagant worship.

Press on.

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You played well...

I need you...

Situation worsens as each day goes

Stepping into the house of landmines everydae

Careful of not triggering them

Being cautious of every move I make

But it seems impossible

They scold shout and scream

Threw stuff right into my face

It seems that Im at fault in everything I do

Or even things that I didnt do

To them Im juz lyk a thorn in their flesh

An irritating pest

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They cant wait to get rid of me

Waiting to see my fall

Waiting for the day of my termination

Trying all ways to cut me off from church

Like a strangers under one roof

Putting on a strong front

I stood tall with a straight face

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But inside me I faltered

Soaked in tears every night

My heart bled in silence

Energy seeping away slowly

Sometimes it felt like it has stopped beating

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Looking up

Felt that no one cared

Yearning for a listening ear

Wishing that He hears

Forced myself to bed

When I finally did

It was ruined by nightmares

Frankly speaking Im tired

Barely hanging on

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But this is just the beginning...

ALTIUS. CITIUS. FORTIUS

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in

On to the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is

And He's holding out His hand

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But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again, "You'll never win!"

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But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story

The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"

And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe

The Voice of Truth

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DREAMING...

It had began...

The persecution season has began

You knew it from the beginning

Strengthened me time and time again

I know I have to be firm

I cannot be shaken

If You are for me

Who can be against me

Youve already given me what it takes

Now its all up to me to take my stand for You

As I start this walk of faith

Guide me and teach me

Let Your grace be upon me

Once I step out

Theres no turning back

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Fine... I was juz concern but you juz be bothered...

"Lord, if it's you, tell me to come to you on the water." ( Matt 14:28)

Nv blog for awhile... Here goes...
Woah went settlers tt dae for cell get together had loads of fun!!! Found out tt Im juz nt cut to be a business woman.... Im the boss is juz nt my game k.... Played taboo, some ninja colour games... Oh and Pit too... Thats a havoc and brainless game... Shouting ur lungs out... HAhaha but quite fun la... Then went NYDC makan and play truth or dare with the gals... HAhahha a dae well spent... Some photos taken too... HAhaha...
Sundae sermon was powerful... Sort of wake up call... Ps James quite humorous la, but he got the message across quite well oso I guess... Evening service was powerful... The Lord ignite a burning fire, melting this heart of stone... Could feel whole burning sensation in my body when QinZhen prayed for me at the altar... Holy Spirit fire... The Lord spoke His message clear... Realigning myself back to God... Soaking myself in His grace and mercy... Exiting my comfort zone... Rising up to be a mighty warrior armed with the sword of the spirit and the Word of truth... Yeah... My promise to You...

Had a weird weird weird dream last night... Guess wad I dreamt tt my mum told me I wasnt her real blood daughter... I was lyk huh... I mean after 16 yrs of bringing me up then you tell me... Then she told me she'll bring me to my real mother... Then b4 I could know hu my real mum is... I woke up breaking into cold sweat.... Thank God it was just a dream... Manz...

Settlers todae too with nigel hz jer and jamie...Played pit... They changed the hammer to a super big air filled sponge bob square pants hammer... HAhahah.... Fun... Still cant get the hang of Im the Boss la... Crap... HAhaha started to play taboo... Its super fun... We rox at it!! Humurous ways of describing... Muz really think out of the box kind...HAhahaha.... TABOO CRAZE!!! Did I mention tt we stayed lyk ard 5 hrs there?! HAhaha almost died when we realized it... Tot going to wash plates for them le... In the end the bill came alright la... Nt as bad as we expected... Phew!! Went hz hse slacked awhile then here I am blogging... Last few daes of freedom b4 starting engine for Os... OMG!!!

Don't use the word HATE, its a strong and offensive word

Why?

Why am I feeling this way
When You're the Lord of my days
Have I really surrendered?
Have I given all to You?
`
I know the things that I should do
I should be holding unto You
Have I been blinded somehow?
This heart is crying out to You
`
Teach me what to do, my Lord
Teach me what to do
I just want to be with You
`
Only You
You know what I'm going through
You know that I need You
Let my heart be touched to know for sure it's You
`

I need You
To fill my heart anew
To help me know the truth
That You've already given Yourself to bring me through
To You

BORED!!!

These daes were bored!!! Lyk staying at home evrydae rotting... And when you have nth to do... you start thinking... It all starts with a thought... And its starts bothering you... Gosh I hate tt... Cleared hw though... SIanz... Min came todae... Went swimming mugging pigging out... Yeah finally theres one dae of joy at least... Thx to my xiongtai!!! HAhahaha... She came out with tt dumb name k...

Wonder how they r doing... Cuming back tml le... Alright!!! O its deeze bdae todae... Bet theyre gonna do some terrible things to her this yr... Hahaha... Happy birthdae!!

Sianz... gonna screen some CSI!!! Chill out!!

First love...

This song kinda struck me... Lord help me...

I used to be the one who would long to hear Your voice
A child who sought to win the Father's heart
But as I carried on, life's got a hold on me
Now here I am so far from home
`
Tell me when did I lose my first love?
Where did the fire and passion go?
Burn in me Your holy fire

Give me back my lost desire
And restore in me the love I felt for You
`

Can I remember how it felt ?
when they looked into my face
And they saw the love of Jesus in my eyes
when I looked back on my life
And questioned where I've been
Can I really say I've done my best for you?
`
oh where did I go (Ive lost my way)
Oh Im lost and Im alone
Oh help me please
Lord lead me home
Father take me back
Let me start again

`
Lord Ive failed and fallen in my pride
Lead me back to you (back to you)
Where my life began
Revive in me the yearning that has died

Thanks pple...

First of all... Thx everyone for all ur bdae msges... Really appreciate them... You guys rock my world!!! The pple r off to church camp... Celebrated my bdae yesterdae over lunch... So funny saw them buying the cake... Hahaha... Then they bought relightable candles to "zhen" me... Luckily I was smart enuff to blow them out... Then ask me to take out the flowers stuck on top of the cake using my mouth... Got choc all over my face... Gross!! Hahaha quite fun la... And so nice of them to call me in the morning b4 they leave to wish me Happy Birthdae... Quite sad actually, so much wanted to go but couldnt... Haiz... Stoned at home lyk until 2 plus then went shopping myself... Nth nice to buy then went meet jer and jamie at jp... Walked awhile then went to play arcade... Then met my parents for dinner at IMM, shopped awhile... Quite sianz... Cos go there is buy all their things... I go there follow them only... Thats all for my bdae... Nth special... Feels weird without them... Hope they cum back soon... O shes celebrating her bdae there... Hope they haf fun...

O hz made me this "T" keychain... Hahaha quite nice la considering she dun take DNT... But her dad is pro at such stuff...Muz be ask him for help one... Hahaha... And o thx for all the prezzies frm u pple!!! c=

Going for a shopping spree... Theres so much things tt I wanna buy...

Behind every mask...

Tears of pain
Falling down like rain
Useless and Incorrigible was all they could say
Every single movement of mine brought them dismay
They cried and shouted in front of me
They threw stuff at my face
So just wad am I suppose to do?

`

Suppress and hold back

That was the best I could manage

Helplessness gripped me so tightly

The hope and vision I once had slipped away quietly

Praying for a shoulder to cry on

Searching for a listening ear

`

Just as I was struggling away in darkness

He lovingly came with his arms streched out

"Come my child, rest under the shadows of my wings..." was all He said

By His grace I was rescued

And He restored this wretched soul of mine

For that I thank you Lord

Indeed there is none like You

Imagine me without you...

As long as stars shine down from Heaven

And the rivers run into the sea

Till the end of time, forever

You're the only love I'll need

`

In my life, You're all that matters

In my eyes, the only truth I see

When my hopes and dreams have shattered

You're the one that's there for me

`

When I found You I was blessed

And I will never leave You

I need You

`

`When You caught me I was falling

Your love lifted me back on my feet

It was like You heard my calling

And You rushed to set me free

`

Imagine me without You

I'd be lost and so confused

I wouldn't last a day

I'd be afraid without You there to see me through

`

Imagine me without You

Lord, You know it's just impossible

Because of You

It's all brand new

My life is now worth while

I can't imagine me without You

反醒

Thought alot abt wad happened yesterdae... Guess my attitude totally sux... Maybe I was tired and exhausted... But that shld nt be my excuse for blackfacing.... I had let my emotions overtake me... I wasnt angry at the game masters for letting us take so long to find them... Infact tt was part of the game but I was unhappy at the way my team members were playing at the game... Kept saying tt they wanna go home and stuff... But guessed they were juz jk... That caused the trigger... But its my fault tt I had pulled such a long face causing much unhappiness... The pple planning this were not entertainers... They are nt so free having nth to do to juz plan this oikos... In fact they took the time and effort to do it to make sure everyone enjoys it... I noe it cos I was a part of the planning team b4... The motive of the oikos wasnt all abt winning, it was abt getting to noe the church body better... Guess juz wasnt in the right mind... And think she was right... No one owns me anything...
Went home and thought abt it... Realized my mistake... Prayed andreally ask God to help me change my attitude cos I think this is nt the first time... And it will affect nt only me but the pple ard me... Asked for forgiveness of the Lord... That was not tt bad cos its only btw me and God... Juz felt tt the Lord wants me to apologise to the pple as well... Tts the tough part... Laying down my pride wasnt easy... Must I when I already noe my mistake? I din wan to throw my face... But I had to take responsibility for me actions... Typed a msg to everyone wanting to send to those whose contacts tt I have in my phonebk and were present for the oikos... Wanted to send it out but din on the first try... My phone was laying on my bed away frm me as I stood and looked at it a distance away... I struggled asking God to give me a better way... They would forget it anyway... But it wasnt abt that... Guess God was teaching me how to lay down my pride and learn to humble myself b4 Him and the pple of God... Recalled wad Ps Foo said b4... There are 3 kinds of sins... Lust of the flesh; Lust of the eyes; Pride of life...

Tried running away by sleeping... Slept... Dunno y woke up at lyk 11 plus... God reminded me again... The msg still wasnt sent... Many thoughts struck me... Wad would they think of me... At tt point I prayed and told Him tt if He wans me to do it, fine Ill do it... Heck abt wad others think... Dun be afraid of doing right... There goes my msg to everyone... Send le felt lightened and relieved... It wasnt tt bad after all... Thx to those who replied and assured me... Tts the diff btw the church of God... They still love me the way I am and they are the ones tt are nt afraid of speaking the truth... Theres wasnt a need to entertain me but they chose to bear with me... Thx pple... The pple of God makes the difference...

Still learning... Still growing... Still trying... So yup...

Change my heart O Lord

Make it ever new

Change my heart O Lord

May I be like You

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick..."

Silence

Empty again

Sunken down so far

So scared to fall

I might not get up again

`

So I lay at your feet

All my brokenness

I carry all of my burdens to you

`

All of these things

I've held up in vain

No reason nor rhyme

Just the scars that remain

`

Of all of these things

I'm so much afraid

Scared out of my mind

You never ever let me go

Forever I'll love you, forever I'll stand

Juz a little update... Im fine... Juz need some time to get back on track... Thx to those who are there for me... So yup...
The Lord is faithful, He has been there too... I'll continue to stand for You...

Holis doesnt sound lyk one.... The amt of work given to us is lyk crap... Manz gonna chiong for Os le... Shall be a nerd... Hahah whole dae study study...

------> Currently playing: ' Will you worship' by Vineyard

Sundae service and evening brought me back i guess.... It was a revival call frm God... Juz knew it was frm Him... Thx Lord...

Nth much these daes... Life of a nerd has nth much to recount... Hahhaa... Gotta draft out my " mission plan"... Bethes will noe wat im toking abt.... *winks*
Zhen spoke some stuff to me... Haiz... Gotta go evaluate le...

Deep in my soul

Is a tug- a- war

Im struggling to know what this life is for

I try so hard to stay in control

To hold back the tears

To not let go

`

I dont know why

I hang on so long

When I know the question You were asking me

`

Will you worship

Will you bow down before the Lord and King

Will you love me

Will u give me your hearts

Your everything

`

Right here and now

Ive made my choice

With all my life I will answer You

`

I will worship

I will bow down before my Lord and King

I will love you

I will give You my heart

My everything

`

`

`

`

`

You dun look happy nowadaes...

Im sorry, but somethings are better not to be known...

I was shaken...

Tears at night and hurting words tt pierced through my heart has been common these few daes... Pillows has beed soaked with my tears.... Shakened, upset and down... Only He was there I guess.... Sleepless nights, puffy eyes... These few daes felt lyk shit...

It is you tt Ive listened to, when you grumbled, or whined, or even sometimes when you said nothing. Because you are my rose.

Struggled alot... Words that came out of their mouth... It was silently hurting... They din rage at me or wad... It was a mental and emotional war... But tt made it worst... Toking to me nicely made matter worst... Tt made me more vulnerable and easier to fall... Fine their tatics worked... There was no way out... No way for me to go church camp anymore... Ive lost the battle again... Dun feel lyk elaborating on it... Tried to find someone but no one was there... It was me and me alone... It wasnt easy at all... So stop pressurising me... Ive tried... Im not blaming anyone... Juz need some space to vent my frustrations and disappointments... Perhaps He was there but I was too upset to notice... I couldnt care less.... Buzz off!

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

`

`

`

`

`

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The worst pains are words that I cannot say;

Ive lost something priceless-----

Ive lost you`

(sobs...)

I will worship You...

You taste the tears
You're lost in sorrow
You see your yesterdays
I see tomorrow

`
You see the darkness
I see the spark
You know your failures
But I know your heart

`
The dreams I dream for you
Are deeper than the ones you're clinging to
More precious than the finest things you knew
And truer than the treasures you pursue
Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view
Then take the cup I offer
And drink deeply of
The dreams I dream for you

`
You see your shame
But I see your glory
You've read one page
I know the story

`
I hold a vision
That you'll become
As you grow into the truth
As you learn to walk in love
`

Let the old dreams die
Like stars that fade from view
Then take the cup I offer
And drink deeply of
The dreams I dream for you

Clear your mind of can't

Harry houldini, who won fame as an escape artist early in the 20th century, issued a challenge wherever he went. He claimed he would be locked in any jail cell in the country and set himself free within minutes. He had done it over and over again in every city he visited.
One time, however, something seemed to go wrong. Houldini entered a jail cell in his street clothes. The heavy metal doors clanged shut behind him and he took from his belt a concealed piece of strong but flexible metal. He set to work on the lock to his cell, but something seemed different about this particular lock. He worked for 30 mins but nothing happened. An hour passed. This was the long after the time taht Houldini normally freed himself, and he began to sweat and pant in exasperation. Still, he could not pick the lock.
Finally, after laboring for 2 hrs, frustrated and feeling a sense of failure closing in ard him, Houldini leaned against the door that he could not unlock. To his amazement it swung open! It has never been locked in the first place!

How many times are challenges impossible- or doors locked; only because we think they are? When we focus our minds and energy toward them and strike the word "can't" from our vocabulary, those impossible tasks will turn to attainable goals.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me. (Phil 4:13)

Perserverance is a great element of success;

If you knock long and loud enough at the gate,

you are sure to wake up somebody.

LIFE

You'll find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

You've found that special thing

You're flying without wings

Service is nothing but LOVE in work clothes

A little boy was once over heard himself as he strutted out of his house into his backyard, carrying a baseball bat and ball. Once in the yard, he tipped his baseball cap to his eager puppy, and picking up the bat and ball, he announced with a loud voice, " I'm the greatest hitter in the world!"

He the proceeded to toss the ball into the air, swing at it, and missed. "Strike one!" he cried, as if playing the role of the umpire. He picked up the ball, threw it into the air, and said again, " I'm the greatest baseball hitter ever!" Again he swung at the ball and missed. " Strike two!" he announced to his dog in the yard.

Undaunted, he picked up the ball, examined his bat and then just before tossing the ball in the air, announced again, "I'm the greatest hitter who ever lived!" He swung the bat hard but missed the ball the third time. " Strike three!" he cried. Then he added," Wow! What a pitcher! I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!"

A positive mental attitude goes a long way toward making a difficult job seem small.

When a man is gloomy, everything seems to go wrong; when he is cheerful, everything seems right! (Proverbs 15:15)


The cheerful man will do more in the same time, will do better, will preserve it longer, than the sad or sullen.

reflections...

On may 21, 1946, a scientist at Los Alamos was carrying out a necessary experiment in preparation for an atomic test to be conducted in the waters of the South Pacific. He had successfully performed this experiment many times before. It involved pushing two hemispheres of uranium together to determine the amount of U-235 needed for a chain reaction- the amount scientists call " a crtical mass". Just as the mass became critical, he would push the hemispheres apart with his screwdriver, instantly stopping the chain reaction.

That day, however, just as the material became critical, the screwdriver slipped. The hemispheres of uranium came too close together, and instantly, the room was filled with a dazzling bluish haze. Young Louis Soltin, instead of ducking and thereby possibly saving himself, tore the two hemispheres apart with his hands, thus interrupting the chain reaction.

In this instant, self- forgetful act, he saved the lives of seven other people who were in the room. He however died in agony nine days later.

Today, do something for someone else with the same energy you would use if you were doing it for yourself.


Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. ( Phil 2:4)

When you are laboring for others let it be with the same zeal as if it were for yourself.

fond memories...

Some pix taken at CCOF...

Pig slping in plane...

`

Alvin aka Iba ( crazy in thai)

`

Ponchi weijian...

In the tuk- tuk....

Happy family...

Nongpim...

4a gals...

The kids queuing up...

Guys...

Lulavi and jenny

Love them all...

Lunchtime...

Cool pple...

`

thats my hat...

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Some games using stones and leaves...

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Siwakor...

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Me and A

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The HIV positive kids...

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Soap bubbles tt they have nv seen before...

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In my arms...

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The older kids there...

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Chup!! My cute little boy...

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Got alot more pix... Missed CCOF...