反醒

Thought alot abt wad happened yesterdae... Guess my attitude totally sux... Maybe I was tired and exhausted... But that shld nt be my excuse for blackfacing.... I had let my emotions overtake me... I wasnt angry at the game masters for letting us take so long to find them... Infact tt was part of the game but I was unhappy at the way my team members were playing at the game... Kept saying tt they wanna go home and stuff... But guessed they were juz jk... That caused the trigger... But its my fault tt I had pulled such a long face causing much unhappiness... The pple planning this were not entertainers... They are nt so free having nth to do to juz plan this oikos... In fact they took the time and effort to do it to make sure everyone enjoys it... I noe it cos I was a part of the planning team b4... The motive of the oikos wasnt all abt winning, it was abt getting to noe the church body better... Guess juz wasnt in the right mind... And think she was right... No one owns me anything...
Went home and thought abt it... Realized my mistake... Prayed andreally ask God to help me change my attitude cos I think this is nt the first time... And it will affect nt only me but the pple ard me... Asked for forgiveness of the Lord... That was not tt bad cos its only btw me and God... Juz felt tt the Lord wants me to apologise to the pple as well... Tts the tough part... Laying down my pride wasnt easy... Must I when I already noe my mistake? I din wan to throw my face... But I had to take responsibility for me actions... Typed a msg to everyone wanting to send to those whose contacts tt I have in my phonebk and were present for the oikos... Wanted to send it out but din on the first try... My phone was laying on my bed away frm me as I stood and looked at it a distance away... I struggled asking God to give me a better way... They would forget it anyway... But it wasnt abt that... Guess God was teaching me how to lay down my pride and learn to humble myself b4 Him and the pple of God... Recalled wad Ps Foo said b4... There are 3 kinds of sins... Lust of the flesh; Lust of the eyes; Pride of life...

Tried running away by sleeping... Slept... Dunno y woke up at lyk 11 plus... God reminded me again... The msg still wasnt sent... Many thoughts struck me... Wad would they think of me... At tt point I prayed and told Him tt if He wans me to do it, fine Ill do it... Heck abt wad others think... Dun be afraid of doing right... There goes my msg to everyone... Send le felt lightened and relieved... It wasnt tt bad after all... Thx to those who replied and assured me... Tts the diff btw the church of God... They still love me the way I am and they are the ones tt are nt afraid of speaking the truth... Theres wasnt a need to entertain me but they chose to bear with me... Thx pple... The pple of God makes the difference...

Still learning... Still growing... Still trying... So yup...

Change my heart O Lord

Make it ever new

Change my heart O Lord

May I be like You

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick..."